Blogging is dangerous

Thought of the moment

Fri, 06 Nov 2009 16:50:59 GMT

Some mistakes are like sub-prime loans. It seems like you never stop paying for them.

Moral cupcakes

Thu, 05 Nov 2009 05:49:18 GMT

Cupcakes 1, originally uploaded by brunorepublic.

The company had these lovely cupcakes made up as part of the big campaign for the launch of the new network: it's "ON"

And they were awesome cupcakes too. Marble cake, nice and moist. Decadently rich creamy frosting, not the cheap stuff that's all icing sugar. Plus the chocolate on top. Yeah, baby, YEAH!

Oh, how I wished to devour them, crippled pancreas be damned. Sadly, when I looked closer, the cupcakes had a very different message for me:

Cupcake says NO, originally uploaded by brunorepublic.

The sound of sleep

Tue, 03 Nov 2009 18:58:38 GMT

In lieu of actual content, here's a poll...

View Poll: The sound of sleep

Doff we now our gay apparel

Fri, 30 Oct 2009 16:36:11 GMT

Seeing all the people in Halloween costumes reminds me that at some point, I stopped wearing things I hoped would get everyone's attention, and started wearing things which I hoped would avoid it.

I'm not sure exactly when that transition took place.

Facebook explains the changes

Tue, 27 Oct 2009 15:12:02 GMT

Tuesday, Oct 27, 2009
Bruno Republic News Service

Facebook, now the world's most popular social networking site, recently pushed through a series of changes which has left many of its users bewildered. While countless groups have spun up to protest the recent revisions, the site's operators maintain that the changes will stay.

Beck Choofoudae, one of the site's chief designers and maintainers, explained the changes in a brief interview.

"Early on, we discovered that the higher the suck factor, the more people gravitated to it. All the previous sites tried to offer the best experience. But that isn't what makes a network catch on. Instead, it should suck as much as possible, and just be so viral that nobody can escape. You just bombard people until they give in. So, we've continued down that path and are working hard to make Facebook suck as hard as possible. We put the crap at the top, and bury anything meaningful at the bottom. We do this because we are the great equalizer of social networks."

How so?

"On other networks, like Myspace for example, users had far too much control, which led to a really inconsistent experience. Some people got more attention, because they posted interesting content, or they could make their layout look really slick. On Facebook, we deliberately bury the content. Everyone sees the same layout and format. It makes everyone look equally inane."

So what does the future hold for Facebook?

"Well, we've got lots of ideas on how we can make it suck even more. 'So much more of so much less' has always been our motto. One thing we're going to start doing is randomly posting portions of other user's private messages to the 'highlights' pane. Another thing is the "events that your friends didn't invite you to" section, which is really just making what's already there official. That should get people nicely worked up. We'll continue to encourage people to use Facebook for everything they do online, give them no way to back it up, and then randomly delete their photos and contacts just to keep them on their toes. Also, we're going to make all photos public so that everyone can see them, and bring them up at random so that everyone *does* see them. Of course, we'll implement these changes with no warning whatsoever. Now, we will provide an incredibly convoluted way of opting out of those things, but we won't actually tell anyone how to do that. We figure that with these changes, we'll see our user base increase by another 200 million or so."

"The hilarious thing is that there are so many people who still somehow think that Facebook wants them to be happy or something. I get such a laugh every time I see one of these "they'll make it suck less if we get a million people" groups, like a 1/3 of 1% of people would mean anything to us even if we did care. Amazing how many don't realize that Facebook isn't about what users want. It's been all about data-mining and selling personal info from day one. It's not like we've kept that a secret!"

Further dialogue from the internal cinema

Thu, 22 Oct 2009 16:51:41 GMT

"You're going to that fake Pinkberry place again, aren't you?" he asked.

"Yeah, I do love it so." I replied, with a contented grin.

"So, if Pinkberry serves fake yogurt, and this place is a fake Pinkberry, does that make their product extra-fake? Or is it like multiplying two negative numbers, and the fakery cancels out, so it becomes totally genuine? Nah, I'll bet it's just extra-fake. Ultra-fake. Super-fake. It's super-fakey!" he continued on, humming the melody to "Superfreak" in falsetto.

"I dunno, but since we don't have the real deal here anyway, it's not really all that fake, is it? I mean, they've got the concept down pretty well. The right flavours, the right ingredients, and the funky trendoid decor. I mean, they even have astroturf on the pavement outside. That's the hallmark of quality right there."

"You mean quality marketing", he retorted.

"No -- well maybe, but it's part of the complete experience," I reasoned. "You don't go there just for a dessert, you go to enjoy everything about the place. It's like how you don't go to a bar just to drink, because you can do that at home. You go for the experience of being at a bar."

"Oh, so it's all about 'experience', is it?", applying extra disdain to the word "experience".

"In a word, yes."

"For fuck's sake. You talk and talk about anti-consumerism and what a rebel-rebel you are, yet you still fall for the same shit that everyone else does as long as you can eat it. Tell me, how is buying into this overpriced designer faux-fro-yo crap any different from all the people you mock for going to the Apple store just to buy drag for their iPods? Or what about the hate-on you have for chumps who blow $100 on t-shirts at those clothing stores that look, sound, and smell like some bad twink nightclub?"

"Well, for a start, I'm not paying some obscene amount of money to go around wearing an ad for someone else's brand."

"Sure you are! You're still paying way more than it's worth, and going around town with the pretty cups that show off their logo and crap is no different. You act all high and mighty about how you're better than everyone else, but you're just the same. I'll bet you'd buy any old shit so long as it was put in a pretty package. I should open up one of these joints myself and cash in before the fad dies in the next fifteen minutes or whenever. I'd call it Dingleberry: yogurt with shit on top! Try our new Santorum flavour!"

My imagination provided the visual, and I cringed. "Shut up already. You just killed my appetite."

"Good. You shouldn't be eating that crap anyway. Didn't you flunk your last HbA1c test?"

"Look, everyone needs a little indulgence once in a while to feel good about--"

"Once in a while? What, does that mean every three hours?" he interrupted. "You indulge yourself way too much, and the thing is -- you're no happier for it. Don't you get it? For all the countless times you treat yourself, you're still no happier. You ate dumpster-loads full of candy before you got diabetes, and you weren't any happier then, were you? Now you've bought into the joke that because you're paying more for something, and because the place looks all bright and cute like a Hello Kitty outhouse, somehow it's going to make you more happy. But it never does, does it?"

Products we don't want (but will probably happen someday)

Wed, 21 Oct 2009 18:28:39 GMT

The SnuggieWow: A Snuggie Blanket made out of ShamWow cleaning cloths. It makes being a total couch potato even easier! If you spill your snacks, or drool on yourself, or are simply too comfortable or engrossed in TV to get up and go to the bathroom, you no longer have to tear yourself away from your sofa. The SnuggieWow will absorb your mess, while keeping you warm and cozy!

EDIT: Well crap, I'm told Bill Maher already did this. Back to the drawing board. *grumble grumble*

Indulgence denied

Fri, 16 Oct 2009 17:28:03 GMT

After lunch today, I decided I would do something very very naughty, but which I occasionally allow myself. I went and got, in addition to my usual bag of Doritos, a Cadbury fruit and nut chocolate bar. It was a spur-of-the-moment decision, made in a moment of mortal weakness as its purple wrapper glittered under the fluorescent light. They were on sale too, which appealed to my more rational side. If I was going to give myself hyperglycemia, it might as well be at a reduced price.

So, I lovingly scooped up the bar, got in line, and paid for the violet-adorned delight along with my chips. I left the store, navigating the busy underground mall as I clutched both items. A few steps further along, and I revised my plans. I could no longer wait a couple of hours for this afternoon delight, for my sugar lust demanded to be sated now. I went to open the wrapper, and...

...it was gone.

I was holding only a bag of Doritos, and the receipt for both items. I quickly checked all my pockets to see if I had stashed the purple temptation away, but it was not to be found. I retraced my steps back to the store to see if I'd dropped it, but there was no sign of it among the fast-moving crowds.

It simply wasn't meant to be. Dejected, I returned to work, with my hopes for momentary joy dashed, but my physical health a bit better for it.

The Bruno Republican Party

Fri, 09 Oct 2009 16:12:07 GMT

The recent launch of a "Lifestyle Membership Card"* by a certain magazine has got me thinking. Given my unimpressive fiscal state, and the fact that evidently there's no concept too ridiculous to charge for, perhaps I should consider starting my own membership/loyalty program. Since apparently there's no such thing as shame anymore, I've got nothing to lose, right?

I'm thinking that I'd got with a party membership program. I've already got a slogan: "Become a Republican -- a Bruno Republican!". I'd have varying levels of membership geared to different income levels, such as basic, plus, plus extra, super double plus extra good, and so on. Basic membership would qualify one for things like being name-dropped in my blog or added to my Facebook friends list, while higher levels would allow for posting of pictures, chat, real-life interaction, and moving on up to get much more personal... uh, benefits. The funds would allow me to travel more, establish a greater number of connections, and help grow the business as the base increases. Eventually, I envision millions of people working together to build a multi-national network of print publications, branded clothing, retail outlets, hotels, restaurants, and bathhouses. Lest anyone accuse me of being an egomaniac, I stress that this isn't about me, but the members. I'm all about caring and sharing!

* In all seriousness, this is the first thing I've seen in years which has really made me think about trying to lose some weight.

AT LONG LAST

Tue, 06 Oct 2009 18:16:04 GMT

Soon... sooner than I had dared hope... I will be able to get the Jesus phone!!

At long last, my dark days of isolation and loneliness will come to an end. All the cool kids will like me and accept me as one of their own! I'll have a life!!

Oh wait, practically everyone has one now anyway. Oh well, it was a nice daydream for three seconds.

Blush Berry: Frozen yogurt, with astroturf as a bonus

Mon, 05 Oct 2009 15:37:23 GMT

Blushberry, originally uploaded by brunorepublic.

We don't have any of the big trendy frozen yogurt places here, like Pinkberry or Red Mango. In the absence of such chilled fabulocity, Blush Berry (site does not seem to work with Opera) has opened up shop. I was concerned that, with the lack of any direct competition, it would be a weak imitation of the places which have taken American cities by storm. To my surprise, they seem to have pretty much nailed it. From the tangy tartness of the yogurt, to the delightful and diverse options for toppings (including my favourite, mochi!), to the intoxicating levels of trendiness in the design, it's full of win. Given my health problems, this is going to kill me, but it's such a wonderful way to go.

Thought of the moment

Fri, 02 Oct 2009 17:47:23 GMT

There are those who would have you believe that a sunset cannot be beautiful, simply because anyone can see it.

Question 23: Fill in the blank

Thu, 01 Oct 2009 16:11:38 GMT

When life gives you lemons, you __________________________________

Wed, 30 Sep 2009 03:36:55 GMT

I wish I had something amusing, insightful, or just interesting to share.

But I don't.

Spotted on gay.com

Thu, 24 Sep 2009 15:19:14 GMT

So the NSLP was telling me about how he was ~~looking for cock~~ perusing gay.com, when he happened to come across a fellow who boasted that he'd had a piece of cooked bacon up his ass for two hours as a lure for anyone into rimming.

At first I thought this was overflowing with WTF, but given how many guys I know who seem to have fetish-levels of appreciation for bacon, this could very well be the most brilliant ploy ever.

Imaginary Cities

Tue, 22 Sep 2009 05:12:31 GMT

He had long tired of the world in which he lived, for the world was full of injustice, pointless conflict, idiocy, and most of all, boredom. At a young age, he came to understand that he could never find a satisfactory life in a world such as this. He often wondered what it would be like to live in a better place, one much more aligned to the life he wanted. And so it began.

He envisioned the ideal city: a place which followed his ideals in everything from architecture, to culture, to climate. In his mind, he constructed countless buildings, from big to small, laid out among his fantasy metropolis. He had it all planned out, from the houses in the residential neighbourhoods to the appearance of every shopping mall, right down to the finest detail like the typeface used on the signs or the colour of the neon lights. No aspect of the city was too insignificant to bypass the sculpting of his thought process. Traffic patterns, topography, parks, and even the ambient hum of the city were all a part of the plan. He envisioned the kind of people who would live there and what they would do, from the kind of jobs they would work at to the nightclubs and theatres they would visit for entertainment. It had elements of everything he could imagine: a place where everything had a unique shape or colour, yet blended into a greater whole. There was never any crime and never any conflict. Who needed those things?

Of course, the problem with this approach is that, even when trying to imagine a diverse city as this one had become, there was a certain uniformity to it all. And there needed to be, for each and every city has its own identity, one which is the sum of its history and its people. Still, limiting oneself to one city was… limiting. There were other approaches, other possibilities which were equally valid. So he built other cities with different philosophies: one where the citizens preferred strict conformity and regulation to gain efficiency, one where the people loved open space and built things as far apart as possible. One where everything was as linear and precise as possible, another where the people chose the chaos of nature as their guide. He imagined the confusion and discovery of their citizens when they travelled to other places quite different from their own, and saw for their own eyes what it would be like to live in a different urban algorithm, a different identity. It was all part of the beauty of living in his world.

Although he could travel to any of these cities instantly, sometimes he envisioned himself taking a high-speed train, much as the citizens would do. The more he thought about these cities, the more he longed to be in them. He kept constructing new ones, and ones very different from his earlier creations. A grimy industrial expanse unadorned with any trace of decoration would once have seemed like his worst nightmare, but he had grown to appreciate the unique unforgiving elegance of it. The masses of blue-collar workers who inhabited it weren't unsophisticated beings like he'd first thought, but simply people who expressed beauty in a way which he initially couldn't see.

Outside, the world continued to be a place of hardship, tedium, and wasted opportunity. He'd had little success in trying to get anything done there, for it seemed that the world was more interested in destruction than anything else. One could spend a lifetime struggling and still not achieve anything close to what could be imagined in the blink of an eye.

Some would've regarded this sort of endless daydreaming as a waste of mental effort, but he did not. For he knew that perception is the basis of reality, and that if one can truly believe what one chooses, one can live inside one's own imagination. This was the only way anyone could achieve true freedom. One just had to truly believe in a better place. But to believe in a better place, it first has to be built.

And so, he continued to build cities, building by building, brick by brick. By focusing more and more of his mental energy on them, he got closer and closer to his goal of immersing himself in his own utopia. Once there, he would have all the things he'd never been able to find in the regular world: success, companionship, fulfillment, happiness. As he spent more and more time in his daydream metropolises, he looked forward to the point where he could leave the old world behind him forever. So, he went about meeting and greeting as many of the citizens of the cities as he could, to establish circles of friends which would fulfill his social needs in his new world. He could even bring in people from the outside, like those for whom he'd had strong romantic feelings, but who didn't return them. He could make them return those feelings in his own cities, and explore and build upon these relationships which he'd never known. Each day spoke of new promise and new satisfaction in the cities of his mind. He would be so happy once he was there.

There was just one problem: nobody spoke.

Well, it wasn't so much that nobody spoke, as that nobody said anything of significance. Just a few basic words that mirrored the situation, without any depth or point to them. Nobody was having any sort of real conversation. The cities seemed empty and detached, despite all the people around. They just stood or walked around there, and if they seemed to be talking, he couldn't hear what they were saying. The cities weren't warm and inviting at all; they were even more unfulfilling and isolating than the world he wanted to leave behind.

At first, he couldn't imagine how this could be. What had gone wrong? Everything else was flawless… or at least, perfectly flawed, if the city required flaws. He went around the cities with a tape recorder and a microphone, trying to capture what little people were saying. It wasn't easy, because nobody would say much of anything except "hello" and perhaps comment on the surroundings. However, with some persistence and determination, he managed to get a collection of words and conversation on tape, so he could analyze it and try to understand what wasn't working.

When he played the tapes back, he discovered that everything which had been said was merely the echo of his own voice.

After some time had passed, he came to understand that while he could build cities that spread across infinite horizons, he couldn't build anyone else. And without anyone else, even the most spectacular city is merely an empty space, a room full of mirrors.

He had no choice but to return to the physical world. But for all the years he'd spend building skyscrapers and suburbs, in the real world he had built absolutely nothing at all.

How would I know?

Thu, 17 Sep 2009 17:40:47 GMT

A few days ago, clauditorium raised the subject of a current ad campaign which appears to be targeted at anyone who is a GIANT HIPSTER DOUCHE*. The ads are supposedly for mobile phones, but they actually appear to function more as a campaign for hipster douchedom. Needless to say, they are painful to look at.

While on the subway yesterday, I caught a glimpse of one which greatly alarmed me. It depicted a GIANT HIPSTER DOUCHE* with a beard and wearing a hoodie. I didn't see the entire ad, but one part I recall is that the GIANT HIPSTER DOUCHE* in the ad considers his beard to be his favourite fashion accessory, because it means he will never look too formal.

I managed to restrain myself from vomiting on the spot, but I was quite shaken. A beard as a fashion accessory? Because it's inherently informal? Ugh. Right then and there, I wished ill fortune on every GIANT HIPSTER DOUCHE*.

However, soon after that, I was beset by thoughts which were much more disturbing. It's been so long since I've been in touch with popular culture that I honestly couldn't say exactly what defines a GIANT HIPSTER DOUCHE*. I don't know what divides the hip from the ordinary to the horrifically unstylish.

I have a beard. I often wear a hoodie. Could it be that I am a GIANT HIPSTER DOUCHE*?

Is there a checklist for being a GIANT HIPSTER DOUCHE*? Perhaps a "Top Ten Signs You Might Be A GIANT HIPSTER DOUCHE*" list?

* GIANT HIPSTER DOUCHE is a trademark of clauditorium. All rights reserved.

...but all that aside...

Tue, 15 Sep 2009 14:03:46 GMT

Has anyone ever stolen your perfect moment?

We Serve Brown Rice

Tue, 08 Sep 2009 03:12:49 GMT

Brown Rice, originally uploaded by brunorepublic.

...and vegetables, right? WHERE IS NOMI MALONE?!

"...and he was just getting his life turned around!"

Wed, 02 Sep 2009 17:01:19 GMT

L's mother once made a good observation: whenever someone who is a career criminal/street thug/drug pusher/ne'er do well meets an untimely demise, amidst the cries of grief from the guy's friends and family will be words like "...and he was just getting his life turned around!"

It doesn't matter if he had a rap sheet that started when he was 12, or had been violent and anti-social for his entire life, or had been in and out of prison so often that they'd installed a revolving door on his cell, or had made a career out of peddling drugs/stolen goods/Amway... they will always claim that he was "just getting his life on track".

"He wasn't a bad guy... sure, he started up that gang war that killed 60 people, but that was years ago... and yeah, there was the time he launched a fake children's aid charity, but he did his time for that... that story about him raping the elderly nuns, well, nobody wanted to hear his side of the story! And yeah okay, he beat his girlfriend into a coma last week, but he was just starting to turn his life around! He was just going to go back to grade 6 and finish his education! He even told me he wanted to see all seven of the children he fathered whom he'd never met. Now he'll never get to... it's tragic..."

I wonder, is it because they wanted to believe that he had some good intentions in him, and now it can never happen, so his character can only be judged by a lifetime of crime? Is it because as long as he was alive, there was the possibility -- however unlikely -- that he could completely change his personality and behaviour?

This Used To Be Futura

Tue, 01 Sep 2009 19:35:14 GMT

So, there's been a lot of angry talk directed at people who aren't happy with IKEA's switch of typeface from Futura to Verdana. Apparently, people like myself, who directed 30 seconds of their time to sign a meaningless online petition, have completely derailed the global battles against injustice, hunger, AIDS, cancer, poverty, and Disney.

I'm so sorry. I didn't realize that I could only be upset about one particular thing at a time, or that expressing any opinions about things not related to injustice, hunger, AIDS, cancer, poverty, and Disney would automatically surrender the world to the forces of malice. I simply didn't grasp the severity of my actions, and my selfishness has doomed us all to live in a world of misery.

My sister asked me what made me different from the cranky old people I used to serve at Eaton's, who seemed to want everything to stay exactly the way it was in 1950. I would compare this situation to the outcry that when Coca-Cola changed the flavour... okay, maybe not quite that, but...

IKEA, as everyone knows, has successfully grown from a small mail-order business to one of the most successful and widely-known multinationals around today. They completely changed the way furniture and home decor are packaged and marketed, and to a to a degree, changed the public perception of what furniture is. In the the process, they have given millions of students, young adults, and people with low incomes the luxury of choosing their own furniture, instead of relying on whatever mis-matched hand-me-downs they could get.

However, IKEA isn't just about cheap furniture. If that's all people wanted, they could get it from Wal-Mart. The enduring appeal of IKEA is not just the affordability, but the distinct design sensibility which it embodies. For the most part, the company has kept its fundamental design principles constant through decades of changing styles. Although they've dabbled in traditional-looking pieces here and there, their strong suit has always been products which look simple, clean, bright, and tidy. IKEA's catalogues and showrooms are always showpieces of sparkling neatness and order, and provide a welcome relief from the mess, chaos, and general dinginess that characterizes many student/urban/low-income homes.

One of the ways in which IKEA revolutionized furniture retail is that there are no commission-driven sales staff badgering shoppers at every turn at an IKEA store. Customers are encouraged to decide what is best for themselves, and as such, IKEA's signage does all the talking. With the written word, the typeface is the equivalent of the voice, which is why proper choice is so important. The Futura font perfectly complements IKEA's design philosophy: simple and functional, yet still attractive. It's business-like but friendly. It's familiar and widely-used, yet IKEA has managed to make it seem like their own. The clean lines and geometric shapes of the font are a perfect match for IKEA's wares, and even their entire image of Nordic sensibility.

Verdana, on the other hand, is simple and functional... but not attractive. It was designed for legibility on computer screens first, and aesthetic value ~~a distant~~ second. Being almost as ubiquitous as Times New Roman or Arial, it's completely unremarkable. For some of the people who grew up with IKEA and have eagerly perused their annual catalog, the switch to Verdana is quite an unpleasant surprise. It's the equivalent of calling up an old friend and finding out that their voice has completely changed.

To those think that typeface choices are a silly thing to get upset about, I say... be careful what you chide others for!

Life Lessons Which Sucked

Fri, 28 Aug 2009 19:07:37 GMT

I was going to do a painfully long mopey mid-life crisis post, but I thought better of it.

Instead, I'll just boil it down to one of the conclusions I came to:

Perhaps my biggest disappointment about getting older was in regards to dealing with conflict. It always seemed to me that the benefit of maturity was that one had gained the wisdom to not be bothered by personal conflicts, and the experience to calmly resolve them. But that's not the case at all. The same basic reactions and feelings remain as they always have. Instead, one simply learns that expressing any emotion over them simply makes the situation worse. And instead of resolving problems, one is simply too exhausted and worn-down to fight.

Cheapness and (lack of) beauty

Wed, 26 Aug 2009 19:54:38 GMT

I've often said that I find cheapness to be one of the most off-putting characteristics a person can have. I know that might make me sound like a bourgeois snob, but please allow me to clarify: thriftiness is fine by me, but cheapness is loathsome. In my crappy little universe, those two words are far from synonymous.

There's nothing wrong with being thrifty, or cost-conscious. Shopping around for the best price, avoiding unnecessary expenditures, using coupons, etc... all fine and well and sensible. The difference between this and being cheap is in how it impacts others. To be truly cheap requires a strong amount of shamelessness, and a blindness to how this impacts others. Here's an example: To be thrifty is to walk a few blocks to avoid paying third-party ATM fees. To be cheap is to demand a friend to drive you out of their way so you can save $1.50.

Being cheap is far more than just looking for good deals, it's a fixation on them to the detriment of others. Being cheap means being upfront and open about cheapness. You see it in people who try to haggle for nearly every single purchase. People who load up their handbags at a buffet. People who knowingly contribute less than their share to the bill at a group dinner in the hopes that nobody will notice (my personal pet peeve, and a guarantee to offenders that I will never willingly share a bill with them).

It often seems like a pathological behaviour problem, because sometimes people spend significant amounts of time and effort into endeavours which have only a trivial monetary gain. You can see this sort of thing in people who will wait on hold for an hour to dispute a 10¢ charge, or drive long distances across city or state boundaries to save a dollar or two. Truly cheap people will defend their actions by saying something like "but it's the principle that matters!", as if not taking the cheapest possible avenue was tantamount to personal defeat. Yet if a person is spending $3 on gas to save $2, how useful is that principle? If a person is willing to give up an hour of their time to save 25¢, aren't they effectively saying that their free time is worth less than 25¢ per hour?

Cheapness is not caring how bad you make yourself look in order to save (an often insignificant amount of) money. Ultimately, cheapness is the total devaluation of one's dignity. The truly cheap don't care about how many friends their behaviour costs them, or how much of their lives is spent on splitting pennies. How horrible it must be to be so obsessed over the short-term bottom line that one can't see beyond it.

As bad as the examples I've given above are, I'm sure there's worse. Someone recently told me about a co-worker who would always bring in their cell phone to work, even though they never turned it on during the daytime. The reason? They charged it on their employer's dime so they could save on their power bill at home. Dare I ask what examples of epic cheapness others have witnessed?

Energy drinks we'd like to see

Mon, 24 Aug 2009 14:28:31 GMT

Since it seems that there's no such thing as an energy drink that's too ridiculous to be marketed, I've got an idea of my own: Imagine a drink that combines alcohol, caffeine, and viagra. It's the perfect cocktail! Alcohol to help you overcome your inhibitions, caffeine to give you energy to act on them, and viagra to lead the way. Just imagine the fun it could unleash. I'd have to put a disclaimer about not being responsible for any transmission of STDs while under the influence, but I'd spin it as a selling point.

I'd call it Horndog or SupaPlaya, and have it suitably obnoxious flavours like bubblegum mango, or blueberry rum, or perhaps white chocolate cola. Wait, has someone else already come up with this?

I have seen the future...

Sat, 22 Aug 2009 03:35:19 GMT

... and it involves Martha Stewart coming out with a line of fetish wear. Is it a good thing?

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